Please tell me that Brooking was joking about the wally with the brolly

I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.
I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.
I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.
I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.
I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.
I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.
I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.
I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.
I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.
I promise that I shall not criticise the England manager any more.

I’ll write as many lines as anyone wants and undertake any punishment that is deemed suitable just as long as someone tells me that what Trevor Brooking said on Tuesday never comes true.

Formally

The formally esteemed director of football development at the English FA unbelievably said,

“Could Steve McClaren do the England job again? I am sure if he continues to be a success his name will be in the frame again. If you think he will be a lot more experienced this time around and he has learnt his lesson, then why not? I wouldn’t rule out anyone. I think it would be very unfair to do that.”

I was looking for the cough or the snigger or the look in the eyes that meant it was absolutely clear that he was joking but it just wasn’t there.

Disastrous

Since McClaren’s disastrous seventeen month stint as England manager when we failed to qualify for Euro 2008, it has to be said that he has gone on to have some success. He led FC Twente to the Dutch title and is now managing Wolfsburg in the Bundesliga.

Having made the ridiculous comments about McClaren coming back to the England job, having done enough damage already, he just couldn’t leave it there. He went on to say,

Fantastic

“Steve has done fantastic to get a title with FC Twente. PSV and Ajax are usually the sides in Holland who do that and now Wolfsburg are picking up. It is a big challenge and it is great for an English coach. Terry Venables went abroad and did well, but Sir Bobby Robson was the one manager who went to three countries and was a massive success. We have to try and get more English coaches doing that. Sometimes we are a bit lazy with our language. I am watching other coaches and there are people speaking four or five different languages. We have to encourage our coaches to do that so that they go abroad and get that experience if they can. They have to do it on merit and Steve has done well.”

Trevor, McClaren wasn’t speaking Dutch, he was speaking English with a stupid Dutch accent! No doubt he is now doing the same in Germany. Also Trevor, ‘Steve has done fantastic’ suggests that you yourself are still struggling with English!

Quit

Current England manager Fabio Capello has said he will quit the role after Euro 2012 if the national team qualify for the tournament. The FA have said that they want an English manager to replace him. A host of managers including Spurs boss Harry Redknapp, Blackburn’s Sam Allardyce, Sunderland’s Steve Bruce, Roy Hodgson at Liverpool and Martin O’Neill have been linked with succeeding the Italian.

Redknapp is known for slightly dodgy dealing, Allardyce plays ugly football, Bruce is untested and unproven, Hodgson is having a nightmare at Liverpool and O’Neill is mad and not English.

Despite all that, please, please tell me that one of them will get the nod ahead of McClaren. Please, please tell me that Trevor Brooking was joking.